Je Joue Nuo App and Remote Controlled Plug 8/10

P1010774 (2)The Nuo by Je Joue is probably the most expensive and luxurious item I’ve ever had the pleasure of shoving where the sun don’t shine. My boyfriend’s ass, not the Polar circles. Je Joue are a brand I haven’t actually encountered before and they clearly pride themselves on the presentation and execution of their luxury sex toys. They even call the Nuo a ‘Derriere’ plug, so that at no point do you forget this isn’t just another ‘butt *Shudders at the vulgarity* plug’.

The packaging is elegant and luxurious in that extremely excessive way that grinds my gears ever so slightly. Gorgeous blue feathered design on a solid outer box, and an inner matte black logo embossed solid box, containing further sections that hold the plug and accessories.  It would make for a really nice gift, and if you’re lazy like me you could even get away with not gift-wrapping it.P1010773 (2)P1010769

The plug itself has been coated with a super smooth almost drag free silicone. It’s a slightly unnerving shape as there’s no taper to the tip, it’s actually bulkiest at that point. The tip is also completely solid and at 4.25” (circumference) a beginner might struggle to insert it. I would definitely recommend warming up with fingers or a smaller toy first. The neck of the plug is oddly flexible and hollow feeling, and the stems are completely solid.

The plug is super comfortable to wear, although insertion can be a little tricky due to the lack of tapered tip, flexible neck and inevitably lubey hands. The wide head makes a lot more sense once the plug is inside of him and pushing on his prostate. The squishy neck provides comfort and allows the plug to flex to fit his internal shape. The stems are curved to comfortably sit between his cheeks and rest on his perineum. Quite simply, it’s a plug he could wear for hours without discomfort.

The plug is a closed unit to allow for complete submergence in water so it ultimately HAD to have a magnetic charger. Sighs. Whilst this one is slightly better at staying put than the magnetic charger on my tango, it still threatens to leap off at the slightest movement of the cable or plug. Luckily it does have a handy flashing light to let you know when it’s actually behaving.

There’s a single button on the front stem of the Nuo to turn the plug on but without the pen or the app the plug is completely vibration-less, a function I have come to love. I’ll get to that bit later. The fake pen works as a remote for the plug and takes a single AAA battery (Kindly provided). I think it’s a little naff, I guess its slightly less noticeable if you left it out… right up until somebody needs a pen and grabs this.

The pen does work far better than I imagined. To connect the two, turn on the plug and hold the pen top down. Then you simply click the top to change patterns and twist it to change the intensity. If you’re using it on a partner and they happen to have their bum facing you (where else would it be?) you can confirm each command has worked as the base of the plug flashes red when it changes pattern.

The toy has two motors one in the bulk of the plug and one in the perennial arm, the latter is pants are barely warrants a mention. The vibrations are a middle ground for me, they are really strong and not exactly buzzy (except on the highest levels) but they aren’t rumbly either. But this isn’t a toy for my picky clit and it’s definitely the strongest and least buzzy out of other butt toys we own. It certainly works for him, and he does call it ‘rumbly’ – remind me to introduce his butt to my Lamourose Rosa sometime.

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You can also control the plug with a phone app, a function that lends itself beautifully to partnered play. The App is compatible with iOS devices and is bright and simple to use. I have not experienced any glitches or connectivity issues although it does have a minor delay on each action. I much prefer using the app to using the pen, and you can even create a pre-set play pattern so you can just press play and enjoy a sequence (complete with individual intensity adjustments that you’ve made).

For our particular Domme+sub dynamic the app becomes a beacon of my authority; a weapon, a promise, a threat. When his hands are bound and the plug is inserted I can lie back and nonchalantly use my phone to tease and torture him. It symbolizes my control and his helplessness. To see him crawling along the floor, trying to escape the (simply fantastic) range of the connection so he can continue to enjoy the setting he is on without me spoiling it, fills me with pleasure.

Cleaning of the plug is easy, once you’ve wrangled it from your emotional Sub who now loves and hates the plug in equal measure.

The Nuo is a hugely multifunctional derriere plug, its waterproof, has 7 patterns, 5 speeds, two motors (one is pants), can be controlled with a fake pen or a fantastic app and is suitable for all but beginning-beginners. Unfortunately if you NEED rumbly vibrations you might be left a little disappointed by the Nuo. For me the app is what turned a plug my boyfriend loves into something I can fully get involved and torture him with. And as a slightly sadistic dominant, that pleases me greatly.

A big thankyou to Lovehoney for sending it to me in exchange for an honest (and slightly sarcastic) review. Despite my word vomit I actually think the plug is fantastic, but there are still things I don’t like about the Nuo, and having to spend £119.99 to buy one would have topped my list if it hadn’t been sent to me for free.

Is your derriere longing for the touch of silky smooth silicone and strong, sort-of-buzzy vibrations? If so you can buy the Nuo from Lovehoney today (or tomorrow, whenever suits you really).

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