MEO Anal Intruder Cock Ring Review 3/10

When I took the Anal Intruder out of its clear plastic packet for the first time my eyes lit up with greedy glee (or at least I imagine they did). I think it’s safe to say that in the last few months I’ve developed a real kink for metal and it’s pretty much all MEO’s fault. The mere thought of having some of the shiny hard stuff wrapped around my partners cock and invading his ass has had me going me wild with domme-y desire.

As my partner is very submissive we’ve tried to dabble with chastity devices and cock cages in the past but I always find them far too limiting – whilst that is the point for him, it gets annoying fast when it limits me and what I want to do as well. I like having his cock to hand, it’s a tool I can use to tease and torture him and having my access impeded is irritating. Even during our most extreme D/s scenes I feel like they have no place at all for us.

A toy that circles his dick in cold hard metal without restricting access and locks him into place when he’s hard, sounds great. Especially when its coupled with a joining set of anal beads that will drive him mad with frustration. We already have a silicone version that we adore but metal just feels far kinkier and the sadist in me wanted something hard and slightly unforgiving to trap him in.

Unfortunately, life’s not often one for happy endings and our experience with this toy ended up being far from the kinky adventure we were hoping for. Getting the  (5.6“circumference) cock ring around his dick and behind his balls was a complete nightmare. Not to toot my own horn but I literally had to leave the room mid-session for ten minutes so he could get limp enough to pull it over his dick and balls. Obviously this alone isn’t a mark against the Anal Lock – it’s not the toys fault my bf’s dick hulks out at the slightest mention of play time with me.

Once we had conquered the cock, the contraption really was locked into place! The metal ring fits snugly around him (please measure carefully first so you don’t accidentally castrate yourself when you get hard!) and because its tucked behind his balls there’s no way it’ll come off until he’s limp again. Everything was great so far and it wasn’t till we attempted to get the anal section inserted that we realised the shape of the Ass lock really wasn’t compatible with his body.

Whilst there was no issue with size of the beads (3.7″ circumference) the angle was all off, pushing the first bead into his ass forced the cock ring to tilt forward and down, angling his dick towards the floor. This was both awkward and slightly painful, and the pressure of his hulk penis trying to right itself completely prevented the second bead from going in at all. Clearly the metal branch between the ring and plug section is not bent at the right angle or length for his body. Individually both parts are built fine, almost perfect even, but in practice it just won’t work for him.

The Ass lock will stay in place, even with only one bead inserted, but the thought of it falling out did make me nervous, especially when my face was in the vicinity. Having sex whilst wearing it left me bruised as the cock ring pointed forwards rather than sitting flush against his body, bashing my pubic mound with every thrust.

The MEO Ass Lock is great example of what happens when you get your hopes up over a toy that’s unlikely to fit varying body types – savage disappointment. The metal itself didn’t have the flawless finish I’ve come to expect from stainless steel and the angle between the cock ring and plug was completely off, rendering it almost unusable.

The Anal Intruder can be brought from Meo for €49.00 (£42 or $52). In two slightly different ring widths.

**This item was sent to me for review by MEO. Not all of the products on the MEO site are body-safe and I feel duty-bound to remind you to only buy products (intended for internal use) that are made of body-safe materials and have flared bases if the intention is to use them anally. **

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