O-Wand Review – Rechargable Wand Vibrator

   

I’ve long been searching for a rechargeable and waterproof wand with vibrations that are actually worth the effort of switching the toy on. I had high hopes when I stumbled upon the O-Wand and they weren’t totally dashed when I tried it, YAY!

The O-Wand comes in the kind of over the top, multi-layered packaging I’ve been known to furiously eye-roll over in the past. On this occasion I won’t, simply because the people paying £200 for a wand will probably expect the packaging to be pretty superior. I’ll concede that whilst the outer card sleeve is pointless, the inner solid box is a nice, quality, magnetically closing thingy for keeping the wand, charger and attachment in. *Quietly cries about the environment.*

The O-Wand is coated in matte black silicone (and yes that means it gets exactly as dusty and covered in cat hair as you are imagining), with a rose gold plastic section on the inner handle. The overall look is pretty sleek and I have no real complaints with the design. The wand is large and weighty but I haven’t felt a decent wand that hasn’t been and I at least find having the curve in the wand allows me to hold it at a more pleasant angle, preventing aching wrists during use.

Whilst I like the angle of the wand it would work just as well without the hole/cut-out section since I’m essentially just gripping/holding the bigger section of shaft and never touching the thinner part, but hey, I don’t know much about fashionable design, maybe it’s worth having this gap for some reason that will forever remain unknown to my unstylish self.

Charging the O-Wand proved trickier than I had the patience for when it first turned up, when I finally found the place to insert the charger (small lightning bolt indent at the base) trying to get it in at the right angle proved so flaming awkward I had to enlist my mum to help me before I rage quit. Not my proudest moment.

The buttons are by comparison nice and simple, you have to hold the ON button (smallest nearest the bottom of the wand) for quite a while (or three seconds if you like counting) then all the buttons will light up red indicating the wand is switched on. It won’t start vibrating until you press the button closest to the head of the wand (upwards arrow), and then you have three vibration intensities to pick from which are on a loop. The third button, in the middle, changes the patterns of which there are also three.

The vibrations are strong, not phenonemonial or game changing but certainly something even the most seasoned vibrator-owners wouldn’t scoff at. Theres a fair a mount of rumble too, which does disappear slightly on the highest setting.  The patterns aren’t actually the worst, of the three I like the last one best – it provides a very quick on/off pulsation that creates a little extra rumble and doesn’t give my clit too much of a cool off period between each vibration (which can be a huge orgasm killer for me). The only downside here is you can’t adjust the intensity of the patterns at all, this massively sucks because I really like to whack toys up a notch just as I near orgasm.

The minimal settings on the wand seem a little stingy, usually with higher priced items you get at least 10 intensities and patterns to pick from. Whilst I’ll confess that for me personally it’s not a problem and I actually hate having too much to pick from (I tend not to have all my faculties when I’m masturbating), it’s harder to say whether these vibrations will work for other people because there’s so little variation.

A tick in the right box for the O-wand is that it’s quiet. It’s possibly one of the quietest wands I’ve tried, although it is by no means ‘whisper quiet’.  It does make a louder grindy noise when the neck flexes which happens when I mash it hard against my vulva, thats kinda how I masturbate (or at least how I reach climax) so, I can’t not do it but I guess I shouldn’t be, and the neck might well break if I keep doing it? I’ll keep you posted!

I thought I was gunna flaming love the attachment that comes in the box, ‘O-Burst’ – I did not. It doesn’t dampen the vibrations but no matter how much lube I use it’s not the slippery textured delight I was hoping to enjoy sliding around my vulva and over my clit. It just feels weirdly abrasive and harsh. There are other attachments available which thankfully do come at a pretty reasonable price, a more pinpoint one, an internal one and one for penis’s.

Cleaning the toy is a regular occurrence, since the whole fucking thing is a dust magnet! Luckily its waterproof so it’s easy to clean and you can even take it for a rub in the tub.

So how do I rate the O-Wand? It’s pretty fucking good for a cordless wand, no doubt there. But it’s also suuuuper pricey at just shy of £200. I’ve had some leg-shaking-ly awesome orgasms with it and some simply ‘meh’ and ‘not even there’ ones too.  It’s not as strong or rumbly as a (much CHEAPER) Doxy wand (props to my best friend who parted with hers for a day so I could compare!) but it’s not a million miles off either. The O-Wand has me on the fence and, unlike my well-balanced cat who enjoys tormenting the neighbour’s dogs, I do not like being on the fence. Not one bit.

If my review hasn’t left you sitting on the fence alongside me, then you can buy the O-Wand here for £199 (roughly $250).

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So, that’s my review, but I also have a few things to say about the way the O-Wand is being marketed; specifically, on their website, because it’s horrendously “exclusive” in a way that I feel could be really alienating and damaging for non-binary people like me who don’t associate with gender and for trans folk too. I know they’re far from the only company doing this but this year I’m done making excuses for people and adopting a ‘call it when I see it approach’. Plus, if you’re going to release a product in 2016 try not marketing it like it’s a product from the 1950’s, I know its confusing what with Trump having been ‘elected’ president of America but gender-stereotyping is NOT acceptable.

“So, whether you’re looking to treat yourself, or that special person in your life, look no further than the O-WAND® – the best gift for the woman who has everything…but still isn’t satisfied.”

This line, I don’t like it. Not one bit. I wish I could unwrite it for them. Not just the weirdly negative connotation, but the way they’re marketing it specifically at women when ANYBODY can use a wand. Repeat after me; Plenty. Of. People. Who. Aren’t. Female. Enjoy. Wands. I’m sure I don’t need to add that from a business perspective, needlessly halving your prospective audience is dumb.

“The electric vibrator comes with one attachment as standard which offers additional texture. Three other attachments are also available for purchase – including one specifically designed for men.”

This one too, would really benefit from stripping itself letter by letter from existence and never harming my gaze with its presence again. Did you design it for use on A PENIS or did you design it ‘for men’? These are different things, if you don’t know that already you should definitely educate yourself. We already live in a world that carelessly triggers our gender dysphoria, we don’t need our sex toys to do that to us too.

I’m not going to go into detail about why the advertising pictures on the website are just THE WORST because I might just throw my laptop through a wall if I do. But cmon, every single picture on the site is of a white woman and to me it all just smacks of sexist 1950’s ‘housewife’ marketing.

It’s like somebody asked the marketing team, “What do women like?” and some guy just yelled,  “FLOWERS, HANDBAGS, BAKING!“.

[Please imagine a furious eye-roll emoji right here]

 

 

 

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