Tenga Egg Masturbator – Thunder

I brought a Tenga egg on a bit of a whim – even though I normally won’t have toys made of TPE in the house and never let them near my vagina. Toys made of this material cannot ever be cleaned properly and so are limited to just one (safe) use. As I’m not made of money and neither do I particularly like throwing it away, I normally won’t buy a sex toy unless it’s non-porous (silicone, abs plastic, metal, glass). I made an exception for the Tenga thunder egg simply because it was going to be used externally.

The egg comes in a little plastic egg-shaped container wrapped in a peel-able plastic cover (which shows a representative design and product information on it). Opening it kind of reminded me of kinder eggs – popping the two halves apart to reveal the toy inside, which was weirdly nostalgic considering the nature of the item inside.

Inside the hard plastic egg, is this super silky squishy TPE egg, with a sachet of lube and instructions rolled up a popped inside. I strongly advise throwing aside the lube in favour of something a little more genitalia friendly. We used Sliquid. The egg is completely squish-able and you can turn it inside out to reveal the texture. I found the inside has a tackier/damp quality to it, which was slightly off-putting to me.

Now I don’t own the necessary equipment to experience the full delights of a masturbator so I enlisted the help of my ever-helpful boyfriend, who had no idea what we were testing.  When I gave him the Thunder egg he held it gingerly in his hand, “What’s it for?” he asked with that quizzical but trusting look on his face.    “Your penis”, “May I?” I questioned, taking the egg, filling it with lube and hovering my hand over his still erect morning glory. He nodded, unsure but clearly eager for my hand to be around his cock. I pushed the Tenga Thunder onto him.

Highly sceptical, looking every bit as annoyed and confused as if I’d just shoved a hard-boiled egg onto the end of his cock, which is exactly what it looked like, he said “Whatever it’s supposed to be, I don’t think it fits.” I was quick to agree with him, it covered the head of his penis but left the remaining glorious 5 inches untouched. I squeezed it, twisted it a bit, looked at him with a raised eyebrow, my last glimmer of hope diminishing. “I don’t get it.” He shrugged as I grabbed around the egg again, this time gripping it and pulling it down hard. To both of our surprise it stretched and I dragged it up and down so it slid over his frenulum a few times, “umm, I don’t… ugh” he groaned, pulling a face. I stopped, immediately wondering what on earth I’d just subjected him too. I had an overwhelming sense of dread that this would be the last time he’d let me experiment on him but then he sighed and mumbled “That feels… really good.”

What followed was an extremely pleasurable edging session ending in him blowing his load into the TPE egg. From his Cheshire-cat-grin and matching purr it was easy to deduce the Thunder Egg had been a success. It’s certainly wasn’t the easiest thing to get to grips with at first, but it soon became easier to stretch! I found twisting the egg (whilst I gave a mostly standard hand job) had the best effects and made the most of the texture. He said it felt like his entire dick was getting a wet and squishy hug (which apparently is a good thing…), much better than a standard hand-job as the tip also gets constant stimulation without having to use both hands!

He cleaned the Tenga egg straight after we used it, and I then cleaned it thoroughly a further two times. No matter what we did the egg still smelt faintly of cum and it was all the evidence I needed that this porous toy really should only be used once. I guess you could prolong it to a few uses if you really wanted to – and if you didn’t cum inside the egg but I would highly recommend disposing it after a few days to avoid the inevitable bacteria build up.

I’m undecided as to weather the Tenga eggs really can be classed as a cheap product when you consider them as a single use item. WHICH THEY ARE – please don’t re-use them. They’re certainly a lot of fun though and I find they lend themselves really well for playing ‘together’ – when you use it on someone else you can still feel their penis through it. You can even sort of see it, which is cool. I don’t like the idea of thicker/solid masturbators/fleshlights because I’d really miss gripping his cock in my hand or seeing it twitch.

I certainly don’t regret buying the egg but I’m not about to go out and buy a whole bunch of them – the throw-away nature of them really doesn’t sit well with my inner eco-warrior and they’d get expensive if he wanted one for each day of the week! I’ll certainly be pulling this idea out for an Easter present, can I endorse this as better than a chocolate egg without getting hate mail?

You can buy a Tenga egg at Lovehoney for £9.99 or £15 for two.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *