I love fucking my boyfriend in the ass.
Which probably isn’t ‘news’ if you’ve been around my blog before, but still, I’m stating it because it’s true and I’d shout it from the rooftops if it were even remotely appropriate to do so.
I also love ‘strapless’ strap-on dildos, there’s something so connecting about us both seamlessly being penetrated whilst I thrust into him – with what would be reckless abandon if I had any stamina whatsoever. So far the only ‘successful’ double-ended-strap-on-thingy we’ve tried is the Fun Factory Share. I fucking love having the Shares substantial internal bulb inside me but he finds the silicone far too draggy.
So we were on the lookout for something new and as always it had to be cheap. That’s when we found the Love Rider vibrating strapless strap-on dildo for almost half the price of similar offerings by Tantus and Fun Factory (brands which I adore but don’t always have the money for).
The Love Rider dildo is rechargeable, it has two motors, is waterproof, sports some interesting ridges on the internal bulb and a sleek shaft made of much smother silicone than our previous forays. All in all, it promises to be quite the functional treat for its fairly minimal price tag.
The Love Rider dildo is slightly smaller in length and girth than the Share which, for us, works in its favour (as we don’t have to spend an age warming up). The dildos external portion completely lacks definition. There is certainly no realism at play here, not a defined ‘head’ or vein-ey surface in sight – just a slight enlargement at the tip. This both works for and against the dildo, there’s no texture but texture can be a big no-no for some people anyway.
Insert-able Length: 7.5″
INTERNAL BULB/VAG HANDLE MEASUREMENTS
Insert-able length: 3″
Inserting the internal bulb of the Love Rider isn’t exactly a challenge for my vagina, but those ridges can be a little uncomfortable if I’m not fully aroused. The bulb feels pretty good once inside and the dildo is surprisingly secure. I’ve long been sceptical of calling these types of dildo’s ‘Strapless Strap-ons’ as from experience its always far easier to use them in a harness but surprisingly this one seems to buck the trend – staying put just fine on its own. No doubt it helps that the dildo weighs almost nothing and has a plastic undercarriage that prevents the shaft from drooping.
Now if I were to wear a harness I could do a few star jumps and squats without ever worrying about my strap-on falling out, not that I would… because exercise but I COULD. Without a harness I can do neither of those things unless I want the Love Rider dildo falling out BUT I can fuck. That’s the game changer here. At least for those who adamantly don’t want to use any kind of harness.
Naked, bulb inserted and shaft jutting out proudly in front of me, I feel ready to take on the world, or more specifically my boyfriends butt. Insertion is slightly tricky due to a lack of taper (the tip is widest part of the shaft) but still a lot easier than most dildos as the shaft is almost completely firm (the last two inches are flexible).
Pegging my bf with the Love Rider usually goes something like this;
In more or less, exactly that order.
The shaft does everything right for him, the silky silicone has minimal drag, the slim un-interrupted shaft provides a smooth fuck and the bulbous tip makes for a great prostate battering ram. But how does it feel at the other end?
The loveriders internal bulb pushes in all the right places but there’s one big problem – it pushes hard. Unforgiving and unrelenting, when I fuck my bf with this it’s almost like the Love Rider dildo is hate-fucking me back. I feel like I did something bad in a previous life that I’m being punished for, but it was only a little bad so I still get to bone my boyfriend. Yanno?
Every thrust is a powerful mix of pleasure and pain, and I like it, get off on it even but I can’t avoid the obvious – wearing a strap-on is not supposed to hurt. The inflexibility that makes the dildo jut out defiantly in front of me rather than drooping sadly at the floor is also what makes it a humongous pain in the vagina.
Each position has to be carefully picked. We are forced to only fuck at right angles to each other. The dildo will not bend between the bulb and the shaft, its hiding a plastic skeleton and it’s fucking soild. Spoons, doggy and ‘guy on top’ all kind of work but many of our fav positions don’t. God forbid we both reach climax, our joint clenching, exhaustion and that god for saken inflexibility make it almost impossible to untangle ourselves and every tiny movement is a push too far on my G-spot.
But lets not forget this thing vibrates. The dildo boasts 1 constant speed and 29 patterns. You can’t see me, but I’m eye rolling so damn hard right now. Nobody needs 29 patterns, I’d argue that nobody needs patterns at all (but I’d really just be make a generalization based on my own opinion – which is that patterns suuuuuck). Why bother putting so many patterns in and yet only one speed, give me some variation where its actually needed for the love of ORGASMS! Jeez.
The vibrations are okay and if you can orgasm/get any sort of pleasure out of ‘okay’ then I take my hat off to you. The dildo has TWO motors, one in the shaft and one in the internal bulb, these motors cannot be controlled separately though so if you can find a pattern (out of all 29) that you both kind-of-don’t-hate then you get to suffer together, how cute.
So yes, the Love Rider strap-on is not a complete flop, in fact it doesn’t flop at all (unlike the FF Share), however it has some serious pitfalls too. Most importantly, it’s hurt me, more than once, and unless a toy is designed specifically with masochists in mind, it should not be painful!
The Love Rider Strapless Strap-on dildo does have one up on its competitors – it can be used successfully without a harness. Yes you heard me, this strapless strap on actually works strapless-ly. Obviously this will somewhat depend on the strength of your kegel muscles but generally I’ve found it to be pretty effortless to hold onto.
If my somewhat all over the place summary has somehow convinced you that you need this toy in your life, you can buy it here at Lovehoney for £54.99 .