Choosing A Pegging Dildo and Other Helpful Tips.

Picking the right pegging dildo can be tricky, and honestly, me and my partner have learned this the hard way. There is nothing more disappointing than a dildo turning out to be just an inch too long to fully thrust into someone or so floppy that you might as well be trying to thread cooked spaghetti through the eye of a needle. Thats why I’m writing this post, so you don’t have to suffer the pegging fails of our past. I’m also pretty keen to stop retailers from convincing you that you need to use a plain, slim, prod-y, texture-less dildo specifically for pegging. Blah, borrrrrrrrring! 

Know your limits. It’s very easy to get carried away, especially when you are really excited to try pegging for the first time and you’ve spotted a dildo that would look fantastic jutting proudly from your partners harness. The anus can be a real finickity arsehole and damaging it is really really not recommend, trust me. First things first, you need to know roughly what length and diameter/circumference you (or whoever’s receiving) can take anally. Once you have this information, PLEASE PICK SOMETHING SMALLER!!! If the person receiving has never been physically fucked in the ass before they are in for a superbly overwhelming experience and the smaller the dildo the easier this new sensation is going to be to cope with.

Flared bases are not just the most important part of picking any dildo for anal use, they also determine weather it’s going to fit (and stay in) a harness. Look for wide firm bases – some ‘suction cup’ bases are too flexible and will fold, slipping right out of an O-ring.

Girth. Personally I would recommend dropping your usual girth preference by at least half an inch (circumference). I cannot even begin to properly explain the difference between playing with a toy solo and someone strapping it to themselves and fucking you with it… but it’s pretty huge.

Length can be the trickiest thing to get right when you pick a pegging dildo – too long and you risk impaling the receiver, too short and the dildo might not span the distance between your bodies during sex. You will want to take into account how much the person can comfortably take anally as well as how much length might be used getting past fleshy butt cheeks.

Using a dildo that is too long will throw up a TON of hurdles! When masturbating you can easily avoid using the whole length of a toy but when you’re pegging that becomes a lot more difficult. I find it almost impossible when I’m wearing a strap-on to only use a portion of the shaft (since I can’t feel how much is in) and being careful not to insert that last inch is hella-tricky if you’re fucking hard and fast.

 

We often use thick silicone cock rings on our lengthier dildos to alleviate the risk of going too deep, it’s a pretty nifty hack thats turned some dildos from a “HELL NO” to a “HOLY FUCK, YES PLEASE!”.

 

You might also find you are able to get away with a little extra length in certain positions and by  avoiding sex positions that allow for deep penetration (like putting legs up on shoulders).

Density. Picking a denisty is going to be a lot down to personal preference of the receiver but also the kind of sex you want to have. A solid (inflexible) dildo while easier for the wearer to push in, can cause the sex to feel pretty robotic and makes fluid angle or position changes almost impossible. A squishy flexible dildo on the other hand will always need guiding in by hand and may get pushed out.

I would recommend going for the middle ground, a dildo that’s soft and flexible but not so floppy that you might as well be trying to thumb in a flaccid dick. For that reason dual-density works great, the dildo stays pert and upright in the harness but won’t restrict your ability to shift around a bit while you’re banging. Woo!

I would really recommend the Vixen Mustang, or the Vixen Raquel (slightly smaller) as great dual-density pegging dildos, the Real Nude Helio by Blush is also a big hit with my partner.

Texture is hit and miss for a lot of people anyway – some people can’t stand it anally and some people love it. So the preference of the receiver is obviously going to be the biggest influence when you’re making a decision about the texture of the dildo. Like I’ve said before ‘less is more’ when it comes to pegging, especially to start with, so I’d tone it down on the texture if you can. Beaded dildos may cause discomfort or friction when you’re going at it because you will be constantly stretching and then slacking the anus. Whereas gentle undulations are more likely to to feel good (and not totally overwhelming) when a dildo is being plunged in and out of you.

Angle. The angle of the dildo is going to restrict your pick of positions! You need to think about how it will sit in the harness, what positions you might end up doing and where the head of the dildo is going to rub internally (esp if they have a prostate). If its curved upwards in the harness and you peg from behind, then its going to rub against the back wall of your peggee (opposite to where a prostate might live) – you could try turning the dildo upside down. I find it easier and less limiting to use a straighter dildo (or a flexible dual-density one) that has a slightly bulbous tip capable of massaging the sweet spots my partner has.

Get to know it solo. My partner always uses a dildo on his own first if we are planning to peg with it – that way he can veto it straight away if its going to be no good for him. It also gives him a chance to get used to a dildo and therefore feel more confident about taking it during a pegging session. Using a dildo is very different to taking a butt plug or beads of the same circumference. So please, please get used to playing with dildos before you attempt pegging, as they don’t have shallow ‘necks’ so the sphincter doesn’t get the same chance to rest.

Harnesses. There are a few choices when it comes to strapping-on a dildo, the main two being adjustable ‘strap’ harnesses or underwear harnesses. Adjustable harness usually come in one (or two sizes) and ‘underwear’ harness often come in standard clothing sizes. For me, there’s not much difference in how well they work (provided the ‘underwear’ harness is sturdy and well fitted). Please check the O-ring diameter of the harness if the O-rings aren’t interchangeable as not all dildos will fit through and some may even just fall out. If you do plan on using an underwear-style harness it can be tricky to pull the dildo through the ring as the material causes drag. Try using a sandwich bag over the shaft of the dildo to help it slide through (and prevent fluff getting on it).

BUT WHAT ABOUT STRAPLESS STRAP-ONS? 

 

Learn to walk before you… attempt to complete a ninja warrior obstacle course.

 

 

 

Honestly, strapless strap-ons can be a nightmare to get right, it’s one toy that has to be ‘just right’ for two people and thats a hard balance to strike. They also have a tendency to fall (or be pulled out), no matter how strong you think your PC muscles are. 

 

To sum it up.

I can’t even begin to describe how difficult it is to peg a partner with a dildo thats a little too flimsy or a lot too long. I can however tell you just how much easier it is to peg someone with a dildo that’s just right. Like Goldilocks you’ll feel full, comfortable and… I’m done with this metaphor now. Trust me the dildo you peg with for the first time will make or break your experience and I hope this guide helps you to have an earth shattering pegging session (for all the right reasons)!

 

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